


Let's not try to figure out everything at once

by TheLionGirl (KissMySelfie)



Series: Somethings Should Remain Unspoken [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Eventually Alex/Lena, F/F, GoodBro!Lex, Slow burn like the other so it might take a while, VasVers at some point (not that long), aka Alex's side of the story, also more of a complimantary fic for the Unspoken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-01-30 20:44:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissMySelfie/pseuds/TheLionGirl
Summary: Alex doesn't remember the first time she met Lex Luthor - he was one of those people who always seemed to be in her life - but she heard the story enough times to feel like she remembers it.-OR-The Unspoken from Alex's POV to make some things clearer. Also, apparently I have a thing for Alex&Lex brotp.





	1. Chapter 1

Alex doesn't remember the first time she met Lex Luthor - he was one of those people who always seemed to be in her life - but she heard the story enough times to feel like she remembers it.

Tales were that she bit Lex ten minutes after meeting him. She was six months old and was teething. Lex didn't dare to go near the girl again even being one year older than her. The next time he does approaches her again he is already three and Alex had just turned two. Lex steals her blanket and she throws a toy at him.

After that. it's their parents that made sure to keep them at a safe distance from each other until they reach an age in which they actually behave.

It happens when Alex is four and Lex has to stay at the Danvers' for the weekend. None of the four people present that weekend - including Alex and Lex - know how it happened but by the end Saturday night Alex and Lex were cuddling together under the covers and sleeping with the TV still on. Eliza and Jeremiah took a picture to be able to prove it actually happened. They didn't move Alex to the bed.

Weirder than that Saturday night, it was the Sunday that followed. The kids had gone from being best mortal enemies to best friends.

The shipping started years later and that Alex remembers and fully blames Lex. She was seven and had just started her Star Wars phase - it was bad to the point that Eliza threatened to hide the dvds. Alex had made Lex watch all the movies with her more than once. He wasn't as enthusiastic as Alex about it but they did get into an argument about how the best lightsaber should be. They argued with each other 'till exhaustion and never spoke about it again. That is until Lionel took Lex to a Toy Store.

Lionel took Lex to a Toy Store and Lex built a lightsaber. According to him the lightsaber. His father didn't think much about it, the Danvers's said it was normal for kids to like that sort of thing. Lionel only found it odd when right after leaving the store his son asked if they could stop at "Alex's". He probably wanted to show her his new toy.

Eliza is the one who answered the door when Lex knocked.

"Hello Mrs.Danvers, is Alex here?" Lex asked.

"Um, yes, she's in her room."

"Excuse me," Lex walked past her and up the stairs.

The woman frowned and looked questioningly at Lionel.

"Don't look at me, I'm lost as you," Lionel told the woman before they followed Lex up the stairs. Alex was standing in front of him.

"Here,"- Lex handed her the toy -"the best lightsaber in the universe."

Alex took the toy. "It would look better in red," she told him.

"Red has no meaning. Green means balance."

The discussion went on for so long that the Danvers invited the Luthors over for dinner. The kids eventually move to the Video Game - still bickering - and the adults are amused at them.

"I bet a hundred dollars that they'll get together before they are twenty," Lionel said.

"I'll take you up on that," Eliza spoke. "I bet they get together before they are fifteen and that Alex makes the first move."

"You are on, Danvers," Lionel shook her hand.

 

===

 

Alex is seven when she gets her first crush - except no one calls it that.

On Valentine's day, Alex and her mother woke up to Eliza's car filled with flowers. Jeremiah's doing. Eliza smiles and rolls her eyes.

"That helpless romantic man," she says to herself. Alex is by her side and looks up at her. "You see, Alex, this is why I am the brains of this relationship. Sure, it's cute to fill my car with flowers but now we have to find a way to fit in there."

It's almost ten minutes of Alex and Eliza moving from the car to the house carrying an arm full of flowers until the car is almost out of flowers. No matter how much she looked there always appeared more and she had no idea how they kept showing up.

Alex buckled up in the back seat and Eliza knew her daughter enough to know that face.

"You can ask me anything," Eliza reminds her, eyeing Alex through the mirror.

"Why did dad give you flowers?"

"Because it's valentines day. It's something people who are in love with each other do."

"Can I give Ms.Snow flowers?"

Eliza frowns. "Are you in love with Ms.Snow, Alex?"

"I don't know. What is it like to be in love?"

"To be in love is when you like someone very very much."

"I like Ms.Snow very very much."

Eliza smiles to herself.

Just last night she had been teaching the girl about DNA mutation and Genetically Modified Organism because of a symbol she saw in the supermarket - it was a simplified version but soon enough Alex was questioning for more. She wasn't a genius - thank God - but she was smart and understood things easily. Alex was hardly satisfied with generic answers that usually worked on other kids. Eliza felt proud about that. Alex was Jeremiah's and her daughter after all.

Alex was still young for her to be sure, but she could see Alex pending to biological more than physics or math. Also a bit interested in physics slash astrology, but that was Jeremiah's doing taking her to the backyard almost every other night since she was five to tell her about the universe.

Although how smart Alex was, the girl was a disaster when it came to feelings, which was something that Eliza came to know thought her teachers. Alex was a good kid but didn't always know how to relate to others. Too closed off, as her teachers would put it.

They were working on that - still they had to work a bit longer until Eliza could explain to Alex what was like to be in love without getting a headache or turning into a chemistry lesson.

She takes the easy way out.

"You know what? Let's get Ms.Snow some flowers."

Ms.Snow is very surprised with the flowers when the smiling little girl gives them to her. Her fiancée asks about the flowers already preparing to enter jealousy mode when she tells that it was from one of her seven-year-old students.

"What's his name? If I'm going to have to compete with someone I'd like to at least know his name," he tells her while circling her waist.

" _Her_ name" - Caitlin makes sure to emphasize - "is Alex. And she is a smart girl. If she was some years older she might make you have a run for your money."

The flowers story spreads through Jeremiah, going to Lionel and then finally getting to Lillian. That's why the Luthors come to visit that weekend and Lillian pushes Lex - who is barely managing to hold a huge bouquet of roses - towards Alex.

"Why are you giving me this?" Alex asks as Lex pushes the flowers into her arms cleaning his hands on his pants.

"I don't know. Mother told me to do it. Something about Valentine's Day."

They both shrug together, the adults already making their way into the kitchen. Alex runs to her room and Lex follows at a much slower pace (because it was unelegant to run) after telling his mother where he would be.

Alex's pink room was slowly changing. Half of the walls already were covered in posters, photos, formulas, equations, and constellations. While Eliza loved her already present love for science she did not understand Alex's need to hang it all over of her walls. She expected something like it happening around her teenage years and to have some poster about bands and male movies starts. Jeremiah just laughed at his wife. It was their daughter after all, how could they expect anything different.

Lex would frown at Alex's "decoration". He was a year older than her and did not share her enthusiasm for biology or astronomy. He comprehended enough of chemistry but his gift was to mechanics which is why Alex spent the thirty minutes before lunch trying to talk him out of 'improving' her DVD. She knew from what he told her that his 'improvements' weren't always 100% percent successful and Alex also heard about the TV Lionel had to buy after Lex fried it.

Lillian supported him through his experiments - Alex heard the woman defending him more than enough times - but as smart as Lex was, he was still a kid. Alex had her fair share of experiments like her coke rocket (Eliza explained in simple terms how that happened) but she always had supervision. Lex didn't. Probably that had to do with the fact that his parents were never around and he went to that snob school for rich kids.

"They are all jerks," he tells her.

Eliza asked her daughter more than a couple of times if she wanted to go to the same school as Lex. Alex doesn't think twice about denying.

===

Lex doesn't believe in aliens. Alex doesn't believe in God. That's the first thing that comes to her mind when she hears her parents talking how much the two are alike.

She would disagree with them. They had some similarities, but they were more different them alike and Alex thinks that's why it is fun to be with him. She has her friends in school but it is easy for her to get tired of them fangirling about some cute actor or a new song of a band that Alex 'likes'. She rather discusses with Lex why Captain America is better than Iron Man or annoy him with her math homework.

She didn't feel comfortable doing that with her friends. Not that Lex wasn't her friend but something different - she'd dare to say more.

Alex doesn't correct her parents when they say Lex is her friend anymore. She didn't take that long to notice that this feelings thing is not something people talk about - at least she never saw anyone talking about it. She questioned Lex about it once, he passed her the words he heard from his father.

"You can't show others or tell them what are you feeling. Internalize it and take strength in it," Lionel had said.

She understands the first part and she follows it. The second part she only understands when she decides to learn how to surf.

Eliza is shocked when her eleven-years-old daughter asks for a surfing board but supports her, nevertheless. Alex could be unquiet every now and then, she supposed that sports could help her channelizing her energy - besides, the beach was right behind them.

The first week after Alex gets her surfboard, Eliza only sees her daughter before she's leaving to work. Her skin is always wrinkled and she gives up telling Alex to dry her hair.

Jeremiah watches Alex whenever he has the time. Eliza doesn't. She checks on her daughter every now and then and put her number on the lifeguard's phone in case anything happened. She's terrified which is why she can't be there. The first day Alex started learning to surf, Jeremiah had to hold her from dragging Alex back to the sand.

Still, she's happy to be watching when Alex manages to survive a wave without falling for the first time. Jeremiah is hugging her from behind but in that moment she can't look away from her daughter's happiness.

===

Alex is twelve when she meets Clark.

He's the son of her dad's high school friend. He is six years older than her and looks nervous. Jeremiah and his friend were talking in the lab and left Alex in the leaving room with Clark. She looks at him squinting her eyes trying to read him.

"Um... Is something wrong?" the boy questions.

Alex shakes her head and the boy tries turning to the TV.

"Why are you here?" Alex questions.

"It's complicated."

"How is it complicated?"

"There is something wrong with me and we are hoping your dad can know what it is."

Alex questions don't stop. She's the daughter of two scientists, one of the first things she picked up from them was questioning. Clark looked like he was ready to run from there and Alex had a theory when Jeremiah and the man finally come out of the lab.

Clark feels like he can breathe again.

"Alex stops terrorizing the boy," Jeremiah says with a smile. "Go to your room. I need to talk about some things with Clark."

"Why? I already know he's the guy from the news."

The older man - Jonathan - looks at Clark and Jeremiah looks at Alex. She has a conviction in her look.

"What man on the news?" Jeremiah asks her.

"The one who stopped the train from colliding."

"I didn't tell her anything! I swear!" Clark claims and Jeremiah facepalms.

Jeremiah takes a deep breath and kneels before Alex.

"Alex, if I trust you on this you have to keep a secret. You can't tell it to anyone. Not your friends at school, not your teachers, not even joking."

"I won't. I promise."

"She's smart like you," Jonathan says.

"No, I got the brains from my mom."

The men break into a laugh. "She's funnier than you."

Alex convinces them to let her stay. She's mostly quiet and she's not bothered when her father is taking a sample of Clark's blood. She's more curious about the green rock they have to keep near Clark to be able to do it. The boy is complete tense during the procedure.

"What more can you do?" Alex asks him.

"What?"

"You can fly and you are strong. What more can you do?"

"I don't know. I'm fast, I guess. I can see through walls sometimes, but I can't control it yet."

"Have you thought of a Superhero name?"

"Oh no," Jonathan interrupts and Clark hiss as Jeremiah is taking out the needle. "No more superhero stuff for him."

Clark looks down.

===

Jeremiah tells Alex the whole story later in hopes it will get the girl to stop asking questions. It doesn't.

"Clark's an alien! I can't wait to tell Lex."

"Alex, you can't tell anybody."

"But, Lex is not anybody," she whines as he gives her a look. "Fine, I won't tell him."

===

Clark continues doing superhero stuff. Alex watches him in the news. They are calling him Superman. There are not good shots of him but she knows it's him. She manages to get his number from Jeremiah's number and calls him.

He visits every once in a while. Apparently, new powers were coming up and he needed help.

Jeremiah makes him some glasses to help him avoid sensory overload and Alex shows him her support.

"You look like a nerd," she says.

"You are a nerd," Clark answers.

===

Lex has a little sister.

The first time Lex tells Alex it over the phone she imagines Lillian with a baby bump and for some reason, it was a weird image. Lillian was Lex's _mother_ , but Alex could never actually see her as a _mom_.

It's only after two other phone calls that Alex finally understands that Lena is not a baby coming in seven or six months, but a little girl about ten years old who just lost her mother. Turns out Lex was horrible at giving messages or completely communicating - he tended to forget to give half of the information necessary.

It's about two months after Alex first heard of the new Luthor that she meets the girl. She was hiding behind Lionel's legs. The girl is scared and Alex's mom starts speaking to her. Alex knows she'll probably just scare the girl away if she approaches now so she takes Lex and goes to the backyard to test his damned invention - though if he did made her fly she wasn't the one to complain.

The girl starts watching them at some point and Alex is curious.

She finds the girl's room later that same day. It's near Lex but near means little given the size of the Luthor's mansion. After several minutes trying she manages to get the girl to talk to her. She has one of the brightest smiles she's ever seen and something about her reminds her of Lex.

When it's time for her to go she wants to take the girl with her, so she does the next best thing: Alex gives Lena something of hers so won't totally leave the girl.

===

It doesn't take long for Alex to find out that Lena is a genius just like her brother. She makes sure to bring some safety equipment for Lena because she knows how careless Lex can be regarding safety - hence the reason he was not allowed to participate in the science fair at school.

Lex thinks she is spoiling his sister. Alex thinks he is just jealous.

===

She names the dog Cadmus.

He appears in the middle of the school. There was no name on him, collar or any sign that might indicate the dog has an owner. So she takes him home.

The name is Lillian's fault. Lex's mother had a thing for Greek mythology and it just stuck with Alex. So Cadmus it was.

The only problem is that she ninety percent sure her parents won't let her keep it but she has a plan. She has a plan but until it can work she has to keep the dog hidden. She convinces Lex to bring some dog food - Alex spent all her allowance of surfing equipment and ice cream with Vicky. Lena comes with him and Alex loves seeing the girl play with Cadmus.

They stay for dinner and Alex helps Lena with homework. She's the cutest girl she's ever seen. She just wants to squeeze her so much.

===

Turns out it's harder to hide a dog than she anticipated. Her mom is mad. Worst, her dad is mad. And he's never mad. So she runs to Lex because that's the only thing she can think of doing.

She ends up in a sandwich between Lex and Lena and it hurts a bit less.

Alex spends the night in the guest bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka, Chapter 3 of The Unspoken through Alex's POV

Alex is fourteen when she starts to get suspicious. She starts to get suspicious and she wishes with everything she's got that she is wrong.

It was a gradual realization but every piece of the puzzle fell into place at one due to one particular event.

Alex was at the beach as always and everything was so ordinary she couldn't have predicted it. She was just recovering from falling into the water and she was watching the people at the beach when for whatever reason Alex's eyes followed a blonde woman's gazing at a brunette woman's butt. Still, Alex didn't think much of it. Friends did that. It was natural. Even Alex's eyes followed Becky's butt every now and then.

The great shake came when the brunette came back and kissed the blonde on the lips before sitting beside her.

She kissed her on the lips.

Alex mind almost went into a shut down at the scene.

She knew that gay people existed. She knew that she probably knew some gay people. She had even seen some couples kissing but not in real life - there are not many queer folks in Midvale. From the top of her head, Alex could only think about the Jones who had been together for twenty years now and were one of the happiest couples Alex knew. There were other rumors suck as Marcia's mom and the bartender from Joe's dine, or even Baker - the legendary Midvale football star - and Cherry - whose real name was Kevin Dylan. Still, they were rumors. Rushed conversations that, in Alex opinion, shouldn't happen. It wasn't anyone's business.

Still, Alex had never seen two women kissing.

She couldn't do much surfing after that. Her mind was elsewhere so she goes home and turns on the TV so the noise can fill the silence. Her mind is still not there.

===

That same week Lex calls her and tells Alex to meet him at the park.

She rides there on her bike taking the long way there. It gives her time to think. Those last days had not been enough. Maybe he could help Alex with her current issue. She had thought about talking to him about her newfound doubts, just like she had contemplated talking to her mom or her dad about it too. Her lack of courage kept her from doing it.

Sensibly Alex knows that it's impossible for Lex to know something is wrong, but he is her best friend. She needed him to be the impossible in that moment.

She arrives at the place a couple minutes before him. He tells the driver to park on the other side of the park. They sit side by side on their bench.

"Lena wants to go out for Halloween," Lex says. "Mother said no but I have a plan and I'll need your help."

Alex nods.

It was Lex who was aking her, but in truth, it was for Lena. Alex still had not been able to deny the little girl anything. Lex was right when he accused her of going soft on Lena.

Also, Alex is always the first to go along with Lex crazy plans.

"What's wrong?" Lex asks after a long silence between them.

The silence wasn't unusual between them. They settled well in it. It wasn't rare the occasions where they would seat in the Luthor's backyard on a Sunday, Lex reading his weird books and Alex doing her homework. The only thing that has changed was that Lena joined them with her own weird books and her own homework, every now and then asking questions, sometimes unconsciously leaning against one of the teenagers.

The silence was something Lex and Alex were used to having between them but Lex could read that something was wrong in that silence.

She looks at him.

He's her best friend. Alex can't imagine her life without him in it.

She has a crazy thought. Possibly the craziest thought she ever had. Maybe that's love. May that's being in love. That's what her parents told her, wasn't it? That they couldn't live without each other? That they wanted a life together? Maybe she could have that with Lex.

If she had to choose a boy to imagine a life with it would be Lex. She had never thought about it before. It didn't feel quite right but then she remembers surfing for the first time, how it didn't feel quite right to stand on her surfboard. Maybe that's love. Maybe that's falling in love.

Alex bites at her fingertips looking at Lex. He was always so calm it irritated her. It was one of the reasons she was always trying to annoy him, to get a reaction out of him.

She doesn't think her next move - her mind is too busy thinking about everything else to think about what she's doing. Her hand ends up resting softly on Lex's cheek and helping her to pull Lex's face downs to hers and she lifts hers to meet Lex's.

They kiss. Or Alex kisses him. He doesn't respond. She doesn't give Lex time to respond. The next thing she knows she's on her bike on her way home.

===

They talk on the phone during the week but none of them mention what happened and then Halloween comes. She doesn't think of it because today is about Lena and when she bolts into Alex's room and knocks Alex into the ground with a hug all that Alex cares about is that girl happiness. If someone deserved it, it was her.

But Alex sees Lex. Lena is finishing getting ready and Alex sees Lex and there is something weird between them. She's not sure if her father sees it. Jeremiah is wearing his goddamned spandex Superman's costume and Alex wishes her mother could see it so they could convince him to change it.

Alex pokes Lex with her sword acting as if everything is normal but there is a shift in their dynamic. Alex doesn't get to find out exactly what it is in that moment because Lena appears between them.

They are knocking on the doors and going trick and treating with Lena when Lex's hand brushes against hers. It happens a couple more times before they somehow intertwine and Alex looks up at Lex.

"The kiss," Lex whispers. "Did you mean it?"

Alex had thought a lot about the kiss those lasts days. The biggest part of her thought it was wrong, that it was a mistake - that it was like kissing a brother. Since it was also the same part of her that was dreaming that scene over and over again with a slight modification in which Lex was replaced with Becky, Alex chooses to ignore it.

She's never been with a boy to know.

And the part of her that thinks like that made her nod.

"Yes," Alex whispers back and this time Lex is the one who nods.

And they try. They act as they think a couple would act during the rest of the evening. When they get back home, Alex is sure they are more tired than the little girl. Alex doesn't even change from her costume before settling on the couch beside Lena and falling asleep.

===

The next morning Lex finds her in the backyard looking at the sea. It wasn't a good weather for surfing otherwise she'd be at the sea already. She just wanted to figure things out but instead of helping this thing with Lex only put more doubts in her head.

Lex sits next to her. He is closer than usual as if sensing something was wrong. He doesn't even have to say anything before she breaks down.

"I don't think we should do this," she whispers. "I don't think I can do this."

He nods. Lex doesn't look hurt, but he's not showing much emotion either. He revolves her with one arm, running his hand up and down Alex's arm trying to bring her some kind of comfort.

"Why did you kiss me that day?" he asks.

"Because I love you. And I thought maybe I was in love with you, you know? It's so confusing. I don't what is wrong with me."

There are tears already escaping her eyes.

Lex smiles and she pushes away to look away confused.

"Alex, you are gay."

His words are so certain and doubtless that Alex can only stare at him for a moment as if he is speaking a language she never heard before. Lex chuckles seeing denial on her face. Stange 1.

"Remember when you watched Titanic? You weren't even a bit in love with Jack and yet you couldn't take your eyes of Rose. You are gay."

"Excuse me? If I'm gay because I'm not 'in love' with Jack than you are gay because you are."

Stage 2: Anger.

"Well, mind you. I am not gay. I'm bi."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, but that's a subject for another time. Now we are talking about you obvious hots for girls."

"I... I..."Alex pulls away from Lex's touch. "Maybe I'm not. Maybe it's just like a phase or something. Like when I wanted to be a skater. It will pass, right?" Stage 3: Barganning.

Lex shakes his head.

"You don't have to say it right now, nor do you have to know it. If you are not ready, it can't wait, but whenever you are I'm here for you. Being gay is not a bad thing. It's not something you should feel ashamed or bad about, although what society tells us is totally normal."

"Oh God, I'm..."

Lex knows what that sentence implies. Lex knows the contrary of that sentence and he doesn't think his best friend will be able to say it. Not in that moment. Alex can't say that she's gay. She can't say she imagines her life with a woman.

But it's okay.

Lex pulls Alex to him embracing her. She doesn't actually cry. There are some singular tears on his borrowed shirt but she recomposes herself.

"I love you, Alex," Lex tells her (and the word are odd coming from his mouth, what didn't make them any less true). "That won't change. Ever or for anything."

She doesn't answer, she accommodates herself in his arms taking comfort in him. In her best friend. In her brother. And that's how Lena finds them.

They leave soon after. Alex stays while Jeremiah is taking them. It's easier to think about it when there is no one else around as if they could tell what she was thinking about. Lex's last words are still sounding in her head.

"There is nothing wrong with who you love."

She lets out a breath. Lex is pretty sure they skipped a step, but it doesn't matter. Alex is accepting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's obvious by now that I love Alex & Lex brotp and I have so many scenes written of the the two of them...
> 
> I got some exams today and tomorrow, also some results on Monday. Depending on it I might finally have some time to post The Unspoken because next chapter is kind of tricky and I've been going forward and backward with it. Also, I'm a strange mood for angst so I don't trust myself to write during these couple of days.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 and 5 through Alex's perspective

She's gay.  
  
She tells Lex with all those three words.   
  
I am gay - it's the first time she says out loud and of course, it's to Lex because she trusts in him.  
  
He looks at her unamused and teases her about it. And it's normal. It's normal and Lex is not just ignoring it. He acknowledges it, validates it and acts as her annoying best friend about it.  
  
"You gave your teacher flowers for valentines day. You come with a gay stamp since kindergarten, Danvers," Lex teases.  
  
Alex smiles at that. It's funny to realize how she's always been gay. It helps her to accept herself but she can't tell her parents. She's not ready for it yet.  
  
It's one of the reasons why Lex and Alex agree to 'fake date'. Lillian had been bugging him about finding a girl and Alex rather have an excuse to not be interested in boys. So they fake-date and turns out other benefits come from it. Like being able to go to that surfing competition Eliza forbid her to go while pretending to go out with her "boyfriend".  Lex called in favors too like going as his "girlfriend" to formal events the Luthors were invited too.  
  
There was one downside, though. Lena was mad at her.  
  
She hated that Lena was mad at her. Had she thought that Lena would be like that she would never have gone along with this idea, but it just seemed too late to undo it - the last thing she needed was an angrier Lena because Alex broke her brother's heart.  
  
She tries making amends with Lena. The first time at a party Lex made her go with him. A museum opening or something. Her face hurts from all the smiling and she was never so fake than during those four hours she had to pose as Lex’s girlfriend – and hear those stupid rich people.  
  
At some point during the night, Alex loses sight of Lena and just like that it’s almost unbearable to stay there with Lex. Lillian and Lionel didn’t seem to care much at the younger Luthor’s whereabouts – Lex did, but he could not run from the spotlight as easily as Alex, given he was the bearer of his family’s name.  
  
Alex finds Lena and yeah, she’s avoiding the older girl.  
  
Lena is mad at Alex. She doesn’t deny or affirm that but it’s clear.  
  
When Alex offers to ‘break up’ with Lex she means it. She’d rather stay in Narnia without Lex’s help than lose Lena.   
  
Her favorite Luthor – how could she lose that?  
  


* * *

  
  
The trophy is the second one - is not like she can take it home (sure, Alex was failing advanced math but it was the finals, Alex couldn't miss the opportunity). Lex covers for her but he lets Alex knows that if everything goes south he's throwing her under the bus - he totally isn't.  
  
Things get better between them after that.  
  
It helps that Lex and Alex don’t have any other ‘date’ for a while and Alex is surprised when Lena shows up at her door with her homework. Alex can’t help but smile. She still had to learn to say no to Lena.  
  
Honestly, the only reason she didn’t ditch her friends to stay with Lena was Vicky.  
  
Vicky is a completely different story.  
  
Vicky is a completely different story because Alex thinks she might have a crush on her. And she’s her best friend. And she was straight for all that Alex knew. And yeah, it's cliche and it's overused but there is nothing she can do about it. So when Vicky smiles and says she hopes she’ll see Alex surfing later that day, Alex never wanted to surf so bad.  
  
And she does surf with her friends and Vicky watching. But she falls more than usual because she keeps coming back to where Lena is sitting and she regrets coming. She should have stayed home helping Lena.  
  
She doesn’t take long. Some of her friends are telling her to stay a bit longer but it's easy to find an excuse out of it.  
  
Vicky hugs her goodbye and whispers to Alex something like ‘she’s cute’ about Lena, and Alex has to hold herself back to saying she’s got dibs on Lena – she was _Alex’s_ favorite Luthor.  
  


* * *

  
  
Kara comes around awhile year later.  
  
Superman – not Clark – shows up with the fourteen years old girl. She’s weird, but not in a cute way and it sure doesn’t help their ‘bonding’ when Eliza lets Alex in ‘charge’ of Kara.  
  
She doesn’t have trouble with it during the first weeks. Sure, Kara doesn’t know how the popcorn machine words and never actually had popcorn so Alex is not mad when Kara disappears from the spot beside her and ends up under the table the first time Alex uses it after Kara's arrival. Alex starts getting annoyed when Eliza tells her she can’t go out with her friends because she has to take care of the alien, but she only gets pissed when Eliza says she can’t go surfing.  
  
What surfing had to do with the alien girl?  
  
Eliza never answers that instead, she says something about not wanting to draw out attention. Alex puts up with it until she doesn’t.   
  
Kara’s been with them for a month more or less and Alex still getting used to it. There are moments in which she doesn’t mind Kara, but there are also moments when the alien is insufferable. Of course, math is easy for her, but not everybody can grow up in a highly advanced society like her. Alex’s parents are completely in love with the girl and Alex hates it.  
  
They take Kara to meet the Luthors and Alex could not have rushed with Lex into his room faster.   
  
She tells him everything except the fact that Kara is an alien. She's playing with his Rubik cube on his bed. He's toying with some glasses to a suit like invention.  
  
"Are you even listening to me?" Alex asks throwing a pillow at him.  
He looks frustrated. Lex turns off the micro saw he was using and takes off his safety glasses.  
  
"Yes, I am. I don't see what's the big deal. What's makes her so different from Lena?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Lena appeared out of nowhere for me too. Sure it's a little weird at first, but from what you told me her and Lena are a lot alike. And you like Lena. Why do you dislike Kara so much?"  
  
Alex has no answer for that.  
  
Talking to Lex only makes Alex more frustrated, yet his words get to her. Maybe she could try to be little nicer to Kara.   
  
The only good thing that comes out this visit is that she gets to see Lena. She gives her a bracelet and Lena smile at that is totally worth it.

* * *

  
  
“Let’s start again,” Alex proposes after five minutes of excuses.  
  
Kara frowns.  
  
Alex stretches out her hand.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you. I break everything I touch,” Kara says in a painful voice and it’s only then that Alex notices that so far Kara had been avoiding to touch anything and anybody.  
  
“We’ll work on that,” Alex tells her with a wink.

* * *

  
She starts with glass cups.  It’s when Eliza complains about missing cups that Alex decides to trade it for something less… expensive.   
  
So she stretches her hand and tells Kara to hold it. Kara tries to talk Alex out of it for five minutes until she gives in.  
  
Later that day the Danvers have an interesting trip to the ER in which Alex had to explain to three different doctors how she managed to break ten out of the twenty-seven bones in her hand by closing a door on it. Eliza and Jeremiah are suspicious, to say the least, and the doctors don’t buy it at all – they all settle for watching the situation carefully before taking further conclusions.  
  
It’s a week later when Alex stretches out her other hand and this time Kara doesn’t give in to her sister’s request. It’s Alex who takes action and takes Kara’s hand in hers. The alien is completely breathless at the action and neither of them moves for long seconds.  
  
“Start closing your fingers around my hand slowly and gently,” Alex instructs.  
  
Alex’s broken hand is completely worth it at the smile Kara has when holding her hand. She waits until the next day – when Kara is not too excited – to try something new and possibly more dangerous. It doesn’t completely go as planned but no trip to the hospital this time. She insists on it and that pays off a few weeks later when Kara hugs Lena.  
  
Eliza and Jeremiah almost faint at that.  
  
Worse is when five seconds later Kara high-fives Alex and it’s perfection. Well… A bit too strong but nothing is broken and lately that means a victory. Therefore movies and snuggles before sleeping.  
  
Alex winks at Lena before leaving. She’s glad Kara and Lena are friends. The young Luthor always had a problem with making friends.

* * *

  
  
Lex is kicked out of college and Alex is sure he beat some kind of record. He runs to her, of course – and that’s how he finds that Kara is an alien. He opens the door to their room without knocking and finds Kara hovering a few inches about the floor.  
  
Kara and Lex freak out. Thankfully, Alex arrives soon after and tell him to leave the alien part for later – one problem at a time!  
  
“The dean caught me with his son,” Lex tells her.  
  
Alex almost asks Kara to take her to have a little chat with the dean but she doesn’t want to leave Lex when he is like that. Sure they could always go with ‘he can’t do that’ and ‘that’s a crime’ but Lex had taught her enough about this kind of people to know that most of the time they are above law. And the thing is, Lex knows he doesn’t give a shit about being caught – rumors were that Lex had ‘cheated’ on Alex more times than Alex’s fingers could count, with both men and women. What had gotten him so shaken up was the fact that he got kicked out of his father’s college. The one he had always dreamed for Lex. And disappointment could not be in Lionel’s dictionary.  
  
"White male heteromanitive society sucks," Alex says in one single breath. Lex chuckles. "Want to run away? Be criminals masterminds. Be the Bonnie to my Clyde?"  
  
"Oh, please, you wouldn't last one day on the road. Sweet little Miss Innocent who can't ask a girl out."  
  
This pulls a break at their playfulness. Alex has accepted her sexuality for a while now, but according to Lex, she's still a baby gay.  
  
"She's straight," Alex says.  
  
"So was him."  
  


* * *

  
  
When the Luthors come in the morning Alex offers to stay but Lex decides to stay tough.  
  
She’s mad when Lionel decides that Lex will start working with him so he can take his father’s business in the future. Don’t they know that Lex loves to create? That he hates bureaucracy? That maybe Oxford didn’t ‘want’ Lex, but there are much more who does?  
  
Lex is the one who ends telling her that it’s going to be okay.   
  
She hates Lionel in that moment.  
  
===  
  
Eliza allows Alex to go on with her life as it was before, which meant hanging out with her friends and surfing.  
  
The morning Eliza tells her that Alex is out the door with her surfing board under her arm faster than most humans. She had to remind Alex to eat sometime around midday and then remind her that she can’t sleep on the sea later that afternoon.  
  
Alex tries teaching Kara to surf but apparently, water is not one of the Kryptonian’s strength.  
  
“Oh my God! I have my own Stitch!” Alex screams in the middle of watching the movie.  
  
Eliza looks at her with warning eyes. “Do not call your sister that!”  
  


* * *

  
  
It’s the end of the summer when it happens.  
  
Brad calls her, but it’s Vicky who convinces Alex to go hang out with them. Yep, she’s so gay. Even if she’s not out. Maybe soon – she thought. Studying and adapting her alien sister into Earth’ High School was hard enough without adding being bullied to the mix. Also, it’s not like she had many dating options in National City.  
  
(So she decided: she’d tell her parents once she got into college.)  
  
Alex doesn’t see the car accident happening, only that Kara is suddenly missing. She goes after her and gets a broken arm.  
  
Kara is completely freaked out. She’s crying and refuses to come two feet close to Alex. Jeremiah goes after her. Lena arrives soon after, also in tears and Alex does her best to comfort her. She holds her as the younger girl cries. And she holds her when she falls asleep.  
  
Kara comes around a few minutes after that and there is more crying and more comforting. Kara snuggles against Lena and when Alex sees it that are two girls asleep on top of her.

* * *

  
  
Summer comes and Alex is bored during half of it because most of her friends are out of town and she’s incapacitated because of her arm. It’s her dad who comes up with a solution.  
  
He wakes her early one morning and takes her to the garage.  
  
“My old bike. Your mom made me stop after she got pregnant. If you want it’s yours,” he tells her holding up the keys. Alex’s eyes shine and she reaches for it but he holds it away. “Two conditions. You have to fix it. And you are taking lessons before you even think about riding it.”  
  
She agrees in a heartbeat.  
  
It takes two weeks and way too many hours of research and youtube videos for her to know that mechanics are harder than she thought. Too many pieces, and names and functions and she’s pretty sure if she does something wrong it’s going to explode.  
  
She calls Lex but it’s hard for him to help her in the middle of a meeting in Germany. His hours are chaotic and his explanations confusing.  
  
“I got, like, half of the things of what you said,” she complains into the phone. She can imagine his ‘done’ face given his breathing.  
  
“Just get me Lena, she’ll understand.”  
  
And Alex does because Lena is spending summer with them, which is super sweet and Alex can’t believe they didn’t do that before. And Lex is right, Lena understands what he is saying and she actually doesn’t need his instructions.  
  
“I’m trading you for your sister!” Alex tells Lex before hanging up as she works with Lena on her bike.  
  
Lena teaches her a lot of stuff. It’s easy to forget she is a genius given how young she is.

* * *

  
  
It’s during Halloween party when Alex kisses a girl for the first time. Vicky pulls them into a spin the bottle circle and Alex bolts when it’s her turn because she had kissed two guys so far, one of them, Lex, and both experiences were uncomfortable and she didn’t even have ten people watching them.  
  
She leaves the house and leans against it only later taking into account the girl smoking next to her. It’s Charlie’s older sister.  
  
“What got your panties into a twist?” she asks blowing away the smoke. “Somebody kissed the guy you liked?” Her tone is mocking but Alex is not offended.  
  
“I really couldn’t care less about any guy in there,” Alex says with honesty because she is tired. It’s late and she is tired and it’s Halloween – she could be home watching cartoons with Kara and Lena and eating candies. She’s never been that kind of teen.  
  
She gets her keys and makes her way to her bike when she notices the girl is still watching her with a suspicious smile.  
  
“Cool ride,” she says. Alex stands there with her mouth hanging open. A girl? Complimenting her? How was she supposed to react, to answer that?  
  
“Um… Thanks… It was my father’s. I fixed.”  
  
And the girl raises her eyebrows. She throws the cigarette on the ground and steps on it – totally Grease flashback – before making her way closer to Alex and her bike.   
  
“What was your name again?”  
  
“Al- Alex,” she stutters. Clearing her throat she tries again. “Alex Danvers.”  
  
“Do all women make you nervous or is it just me?” The question catches Alex by surprise and she is wide-eyed. She is too shocked to answer and the girl laughs. “Have you ever been kissed by a girl?”  
  
And this time Alex opens her mouth to answer but nothing comes out.  
  
“So here’s the thing, I’m going to kiss you. You can stop me if you want, but I don’t think you want that.”  
  
And Alex has no arguments against that.   
  
There are some rumors about that. But there are also rumors about their science teaching selling drugs to other teachers. It fades away like other rumors, but it almost gets Alex freaking out.

* * *

  
  
Jeremiah dies.  
  
They all feel something is wrong when the government agents come knocking on the door without Jeremiah.  
  
Eliza is fine until she gets to their bedroom and starts crying when she thinks the girls the girls can’t hear her. It’s what it takes for Alex’s tears to come back and she goes to the bathroom. Kara lets her alone for a few minutes before opening the door and holding her.   
  
Alex wants to push her away. It’s her fault, a voice in the back of her head says. But she can’t and she’s almost falling asleep from all the tears when there is someone at the door.  
  
“I’ll get that,” Kara tells her.  
  
It’s Lillian and Lena.   
  
Alex takes some minutes to wash her face, maybe not look like an absolute wreck, because she could cry in front of Eliza and Kara, they were her mother and her sister, they could see her this vulnerable. She was even used to crying in front of Lex because he is like some annoying twin that was born one year early from another mother. Alex doesn’t really care about crying in front of Lionel or Lillian – they were her parents’ friends, they were nice but they did not mean that much to her. But she can’t cry in front of Lena.  
  
She can’t cry in front of Lena because she still remembers the first she met Lena. So small and scared. And she remembers how slowly Lena started trusting her and leaning against her like Alex was some pillar. And the girl had lost her mother so young. Alex didn’t mind being that pillar, but pillars aren’t supposed to break down. They aren’t supposed to crack and crumble. So Alex can’t have Lena seeing her that way because while she can be weak with Lex holding her, she has to tough so she can hold Lena as if she’s part of her own being.  
  
And she does a good job until she drops the damn glass. And even then she doesn’t cry, but she’s bleeding suddenly and I’s when she starts sobbing again.  
  
Lex arrives sometime after Lena and Kara settle her on the couch. For the first time since the government agents left, Alex can breathe.   
  


* * *

  
His funeral is beautiful and Alex only stays with her mother. It hurts and Alex is not sure why people do this kind of ceremony.   
  
She distances herself from everybody after that. Even Kara. And every time Kara tried to get close she’d lash out. And she doesn’t talk much to anybody. She only talks to Jeremiah, not at his tombstone, but on her bike in the middle of nowhere some miles from Midvale. Why would she go to some unfamiliar place to talk to him? Didn’t it make more sense to go to some more related to Jeremiah?  
  
It’s not like Alex believes in anything – although she does a little since Kara arrived telling stories of Rao, Alex wondered why not? – yet it felt good to imagine him hearing her. And she told him everything. Things he already knew, things she was feeling, things she wanted to tell him.  
  
It’s Lex who calls her out for being a jerk and she is so mad at him that she wishes she could hate him. She doesn’t talk to him for seven full days after that. She does call him in the eighth.  
  
“I just… I don’t know what to do,” Alex confesses on the phone.  
  
“Starts by apologizing to Kara,” he instructs her. “And focus on moving on.”  
  


* * *

  
  
She does.  
  
And while doing that she finally realizes that she is not the only one suffering. She doesn’t even mean her mother, but Kara is too. And she had never stopped to think about how it was another member of Kara’s family gone in a short period of time.   
  
But who actually surprises her is Lena.  
  
It was after of one of the girl’s sleepover when the three of them ended up comfortably squeezed in two beds after Lena had a nightmare.  
  
“Do you know what it was about?” Alex asks Kara later that they.  
  
“I think it was about her mother, but I think it has also something to do with…” and Kara leaves it in the air and Alex knows she referring to Jeremiah’s death. “She said they’ve been coming more often since some months ago.”

* * *

  
  
Lena goes to boarding school and Kara gets a new friend.  
  
Lex doesn’t know why Lillian decided to send Lena to study in another country but he is also as displeased as Alex, if not more.  
  
Kara’s new friend… Well, Alex is not her greatest fan.   
  
She was always a bit more aware of Kara’s friends, like that Winn guy. Alex secretly liked him as Kara’s friend – he was harmless – but he had a crush on Kara, so there is that. Then there was Adam and Alex told Kara that she thought he was way too friendly to be just friends with her.  
  
But Lucy… Lucy freaking Lane threw a lamp at her.   
  


* * *

  
  
Alex decides on National City. It wasn’t that far and at the same time far enough. Plus it had a lot of possibilities for her after graduating - like Lord’s labs.  
  
Kara takes half a second to think before announcing she wants to study in National City too.

* * *

  
  
Alex comes out.  
  
Well, kind of.  
  
Kara is the first person she comes out to - after Lex, that is. She comes to visit Alex for the weekend and she starts asking about boys in college and hot professor and Alex mind go blank. And Kara notices something is wrong mostly because Alex is holding her breath for longer than most humans could and when she shakes Alex out of it, the older Danvers blurs out those words.  
  
“I’m gay.”  
  
While the concept doesn’t confuse Kara, the situation does.  
  
“Weren’t you dating Lex?”  
  
And Kara is okay with it. And Alex thinks she's too okay with it because the next day she comes to her apartment with a bag stocked with 'supplies' and saying that she had done her 'research'. It's only after the first movie start playing and it's 'DEBS' that Alex understands what she meant by 'research'.  
  


* * *

  
  
The next one she tells is Lena.  
  
Alex doesn’t want the younger Luthor to think she’s keeping some kind of a secret from her, nor she wants her to think she was the last to know. So Alex calls her – and Alex hates calling, it was Kara’s thing, not hers.  
  
Lena is cool with it. And knowing that she has three out of the four most important people in her life with her, made it easier for her to tell Eliza.  
  
Except that Eliza already knows.  
  
“How?” Alex asks after Eliza lets out a ‘finally’.  
  
“Oh, Alex. A mother knows. Also, you were a fifteen years old girl surrounded by handsome guys while surfing and I did not see you check one of them out. I had my suspicions.”  
  
“Mom!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 of The Unspoken through Alex's POV
> 
> Alex stops Lex homicidal tendencies/Vasquez and VasVers/Alex tendencies to get into trouble

“Do you ever,” Lex hesitates, “fear her?”

“Kara?”

“She has all this power. It would take a snap of her fingers to kill someone. Do you ever think about how dangerous they can be? Aliens, I mean. We’ve seen the destruction and chaos they can cause with Superman and Zod.”

“Have you seen Kara? She refused to kill a bee last week. I think human beings are safe from her rage. As for other aliens,” shrugs. “Maybe. But I think it’s wrong to presume the worst. Most of them are probably harmless and those who aren’t... Well, you can’t put a man in prison because he has the capacity of killing someone. I don’t think that’s different for aliens.”

“Yeah, but they are not from here. Why should we allow them to stay?”

“Most of the aliens are most likely refugees, like Kara and Cla-Superman. Look around, Earth is not the friendliest of places. If they came here it’s because they had no other choice. Why would we not let them stay?”

“Well, the world would be safer without aliens in it.”

“The World would be safer without humans in it too, but I am not promoting the erasure of the human race."

"You are right. It was just a random thought." She gives him a look. "I'd never do anything that could harm Kara. You and Lena would probably kill me if I did."

"Maybe not, but you'd wish we had just killed you."

* * *

 

There is an alien biology course at NCU. There are only ten people in this class but it’s actually good. Alex is easily the most interested student - probably because none of the others actually have an alien sister. So she tends to stay after class and ask the teacher several questions. By the end of the first semester, she’s already having coffee with the teacher.

It’s not as creepy as it seems.

He gives Alex several material sources since she’s interested and Alex already got an eye on the assistant position that is about to be vacant.

* * *

 

Alex was running. She had her earphones on, her mind was miles away still thinking about that confusing part of the class she had on the previous day. She doesn’t see the dog running to her until he’s mid-air and landing on her lap. Her initial fear is replaced with a laugh as he starts licking her. It’s a friendly dog. And if she’s being honest it’s a familiar dog.

She frowns looking at him.

A person comes running in Alex’s direction right after. Suddenly Alex’s attention drifts away from the dog and to the person. They are cute - is Alex’s first thought. It takes one minute during which the person is talking to Alex add to that thought: That person is hot.

Alex, your useless lesbian, at least pay attention to them! Alex screams at herself internally.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Alex says imagining the rambling is going along those lines. "I wouldn’t mind being hit by a dog when his owner is so cute. Can I?” Alex asks bending down to pet the dog.

“After he hit you, I think we are passed you having to ask permission.” They laugh.

“I had a dog that looks just like him a few years back. He was smaller back then,” Alex tells them.

“I adopted him a couple years ago from a shelter in Midvale,” they say.

Alex gasps. “What a weird coincidence. I’m from Midvale. Was it from the shelter near the beach?”

They nod and smile at Alex - and damn what a smile. “Well, I guess Rex recognized you after all.”

“Rex? Really?”

“Creativity is not one of my fortes. What would you have named him?”

“Back then I called him Cadmus. I found him near my school, took him home but I knew my parents wouldn’t let me keep it, so I decided to hide him until I had a plan to make them let me keep it.”

They laugh. “I’m Vasquez, by the way.”

“I’m Alex.”

“So what are you doing here in National City, Alex?”

“Studying. Speaking of it, I better get going if I want to shower before class. It was nice meeting you, Vasquez. And it was nice seeing this good boy again. Thank you for that.”

“I’m hoping I’m not being too straightforward but maybe you could repay me for a coffee? Tomorrow afternoon? I’ll bring Rex?”

“Repay you? Shouldn’t you repay me? It was your dog that hit me.”

“I did reunite the two of you. I think that deserves a coffee. I’m paying, anyway."

And Alex smiles because, why not? Maybe it will her mother off her neck for studying too much.

“Give me your phone. I’m going to give you my number.”

* * *

 

Alex is afraid she might be reading into things. It’s been seven weeks, six coffees, four runs, three lunches, two dinners, and one night over. Alex is sure she’s into Vasquez but she’s not sure they are into her. Because lately their coffees, dinners, and lunches felt too much like a date but she’s not sure.

She calls Lex to vent about it but he’s not hopeful because 80% of the time he’s like ‘kiss first, ask questions later’. She knows it. She’s seen it. She’s seen Lex kiss a guy in the middle of a party and only after ask him if he’s into dudes. He does that to girls too.

Alex doesn’t.

Alex is a disaster when it comes to dating. She’s aware of the profile Kara created for her in at least two different dating apps and since college started she managed to go to one and a half dates and she has no idea how to talk to other human beings.

She calls Kara out of despair. She tells Alex she’s on her way.

And Alex tells Kara all about Vasquez (she explains the whole dog thing because how crazy it was that Kara wasn’t around back then?). Surprisingly Kara tells her to go with Lex advice.

“If you never try, you’ll never know.” Kara shrugs. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

“They tell me they don’t like and never look at my direction again?”

“How come you weren’t in drama club in high school? You are so overreacting.”

Alex does listen to her. They are at the park walking Cadmus and Vasquez is talking about whatever never game they've been playing - they are so nerdy - and Alex wishes she could say she was paying attention but her head is just going crazy with what Kara and Lex told her. And she does it. At some point, Vasquez stops them to ask if Alex was alright and Alex blurs out a ‘no’.

“No. I’m sorry but I haven’t been listening to a word you were saying although I wanted, you look so cute talking about things you like and I was just thinking that I want to kiss you. Can I? Kiss you, I mean. You can say ‘no’ you can totally say no and nothing has to change between us. Or it can. I-“

Alex is interrupted by Vasquez kissing her. She lets out a gasp in the middle of the kiss. She pulls them into another because she had not been ready in the first one. There are no fireworks - Alex isn't Kara to believe that it's supposed to be fireworks - but it's a good kiss. And Alex wants more of that kind of kiss with Vasquez. She wants more kisses with them.

Alex’s racing heart calms down and she’s smiling into the kiss.

“You good?” Vasquez asks once the kiss is over.

Alex licks her lips.

“So good,” Alex says. Vasquez looks away and blushes. They blush.

“Do you want to go out with me? As is in a date?”

“Do I get more of those?”

“If you play your cards right.”

* * *

 

Vasquez takes her to an indoor climbing gym on her first date. Alex can say it’s unexpected. She expected them to go to some restaurant or even a picnic at the park but not indoor climbing. She's mostly surprised and settles for deciding if it’s a good or a bad way later. For now, she focuses on enjoying the day with Vasquez.

Alex climbs easily to about thirteen feet. Then she looks down and thinks that it’s probably the highest she ever climbed in threes back when she was a kid. She can’t continue.

She shouts it to Vasquez who’s about you two feet above her. They take no time before climbing down to where Alex is gripping the wall.

“Hey, don’t worry. If you want to go back to the ground you can. We go fresh up and we can have some food from that food truck you like. But it’s completely safe. You won’t fall. And you don’t need to do it now. Only when you are ready.”

And maybe it’s the confidence in Vasquez’s voice or the way they look at Alex so softly but it makes her want to do it. She takes a couple of minutes to get her breathing under control.

She does it. Vasquez follows her pace until they reach the top.

“See, told you could do it,” Vasquez says giving a weak punch on her shoulder. Alex grips tighter on the wall before they fall into a laugh.

Alex waits until they are back on the ground to give Vasquez a long hug – they had given her strength. While they don’t understand the meaning of the hug, Vasquez hugs Alex back just as tight.

“You hungry?” Vasquez asks. Alex is surprised when she finds herself nodding when her stomach was twirling some minutes before.

Vasquez takes her to a Mexican restaurant nearby where they know everyone by their names. Alex is surprised when they pass through the front desk and Vasquez kiss the cheek of the woman – Elena – sitting there. They introduce Alex briefly. After that Vasquez greets some people they recognize. Alex is following right behind and holding Vasquez's hand as they both go the kitchen.

A middle age looking man opens as smile as they see Vasquez.

“Miguel! Como estás?” Vasquez says as they are embraced in a hug.

“Vasquez! Estoy bien, y tu? Who is this? Es tu novia?” Vasquez blush at that.

“Si, me llamo Alex,” she says stretching out her hand and Miguel smiles. "Como estás, usted?

“Oh, I like your girl already!” He says pulling Alex too into a hug.

“Alex, this is Miguel. He makes the best Mexican food in all National City,” Vasquez tells Alex.

They chat for a little while until Vasquez decide that they already annoyed Miguel enough (and also it has nothing to do with Miguel telling embarrassing stories about them). Vasquez insisted on paying and Alex is a bit disappointed when Vasquez ask for it ‘to go’ but at the same time she likes to be alone with her novia. She really hopes she didn’t overstep at this one.

Vasquez had picked up on it too.

“So, I guess you are my novia now,” Vasquez says in a teasing tone while they are walking.

“I’m so sorry. But, look, I have a limited knowledge in Spanish and I did not know how to say ‘ _no I’m not their girlfriend but I really like them very much so I’d like to be if they'll have me’_.” Vasquez looks away with a smile on their face.

“You really like me, huh?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“I really like you too. And I’d love to have you as my girlfriend.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” Vasquez hums in an answer. “Yes, I’d like that.”

“So I guess we are dating.”

“I guess we are.”

And they both have shit-eating grins that Alex is sure Kara would love to photograph to prove to her sister that ‘ _yes, people do look at each other like that outside of romcoms and romances_ ’.

“I couldn’t do it without you,” Alex tells Vasquez taking hold of their hands and pulling both of them to a stop. “Back at the climbing place, I was ready to give up.” Vasquez pushes a strain of her hair behind Alex’s ear. The way they are looking at her leaves Alex breathless.

“You could do it. Even without me. I just accelerated the development. Just like an enzyme.” Alex laughs at that.

“An _enzyme_.” Alex continues to laugh and Vasquez just keeps looking at her. “Okay, I guess you are my enzyme. What are you going to catalyze next?”

“This,” Vasquez says before pulling Alex into a kiss.

* * *

 

“What are you doing?” Vasquez asks sitting next to Alex on Vasquez’s couch. Their girlfriend is sitting with a laptop on her lap and has this focused look that Vasquez is sure Alex has no idea how cute/attractive it is. They settle the pot of popcorn on the table while setting the DVD for their horror movie marathon.

“Looking at some links my professor sent me.”

“Aliens among us,” Vasquez reads out of the screen with a frown. “What are you studying? Government Conspiracies 101?”

“No,” Alex rolls her eyes. “I have this class of Alien Biology and we were discussing how years after we have Superman people still talk about green aliens and flying discos and we often discuss possible alien forms and we study certain articles to determine if they would be possible or just bullshit.”

“So you believe in aliens…”

“It’s not a question of belief. It’s like saying that you believe in dogs. Dogs are real, we know they exist. Same thing with aliens. We might only know about Superman and the dozen or so that he fought with, but why should we be naïve enough to believe that they are the only ones.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I believe in it too. That are more aliens out there. I just not sure if it’s a good idea to go searching for this kind of things. What if the FBI or something comes knocking on your door?”

“Well, that would mean I’m on the right track so I just would need to figure out an escape route.”

“An escape route?”

“Yes. Obviously, you would be my getaway car. Or bike. I prefer the bike.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Alex rolls her eyes and kisses Vasquez. It’s a ‘you’re silly’ kiss. And it turns into a ‘you’re hot’ kiss. That’s about when Vasquez takes the laptop out of Alex’s lap and places it on the table after closing it. Alex uses that time to place herself under Vasquez. She pulls them down for another kiss. This one also different from the ones before. It’s a ‘you’re wearing too many clothes’ kiss.

* * *

 

She invites Vasquez to spend vacations with her in Midvale. They accept it but they prefer staying at a friend’s place.

“I don’t think I would be able to control myself if we were to sleep together,” Vasquez tells Alex kissing her neck as they are falling on Vasquez’s couch.

“Sleeping together? Oh, no,” Alex laughs. “Knowing my mom she would either put you to sleep in the living room or by her bed so she can keep an eye on you.”

“That’s a bit creepy. I can’t wait to meet you, family.” Alex stops her hands that had been exploring Vasquez’s body until she finds Vasquez’s ass. Vasquez feels Alex tensing up under them. “What is it?”

Alex smiles at them. “Nothing, I was just afraid it was too soon. I mean, if I’m moving too quickly or something I just never was in an actual relationship.”

Vasquez runs their fingers through her girlfriend’s hair. “You are doing great.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I would have told you if it was going to quickly. Relationships are about communicating.”

Alex licks her lips. “How about we communicate soundlessly? Because you are really hot when you are saying things like that.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

* * *

 

Alex watches Kara trying to give Vasquez ‘the’ shovel talk. It’s embarrassing. Vasquez completely disarms the younger Danvers in the beginning of her speech.

“You must be Kara,” they tell her with a smile. “Alex told me so much about you. And you are prettier in person. Just so you know I expect you to be holding one of the shovels if I ever hurt this one. But I don’t think you’ll need it. She’s a keeper. I hope she thinks the same of me.”

Kara goes speechless after that. She fixes her glasses and folds her arms in front of her body and says something like ‘Yeah, you better’. It’s so cute that Alex has no idea how Vasquez managed to suppress their laughter.

Eliza is up next and Alex jaw hits the ground when Eliza is nice to Vasquez.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m a hugger,” Eliza says opening her arms to Vasquez. They look at Alex as if asking what to do. Just go with it, she tells them with her yes. Kara is as surprised as Alex. “I guess I have you to thank for thanking care of my daughter.”

“Not at all, Dr. Danvers. Alex can take care of herself, I’m just in for the company,” Vasquez tells Eliza.

Eliza shoots her daughter an ‘I approve’ look. That Alex only comes to realize later, in that moment she was more focus in not jumping on Vasquez’s arms and kissing the hell out of them.

* * *

 

Talking to some old friends by the beach, Alex fills in as a Life Guard for the summer.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Alex asks sitting on Vasquez lap as they are watching some Netflix late in the afternoon.

“Hey, it’s your summer. You can do whatever you want with it. I for once don’t mind seeing you in that uniform during the summer.”

Alex kisses them smiling into it. For a first relationship, Alex thought whoever came next would have a hell of a trouble beating it. _If anyone came next_. Would it be so a bad thing to have a future with Vasquez?

Alex is not thinking about it in that moment, but it’s a possibility she doesn’t discard.

Vasquez’s hands are around Alex’s waist and they’ve amended the first kiss into a longer one when they hear someone clearing her throat. It’s Kara. Of course, it’s Kara.

Alex climbs out of Vasquez’s lap and Kara makes sure to sit in between them.

_Sorry_ , Alex mouths to Vasquez.

They smile. _I don’t mind_.

* * *

 

Lena spends summer with them and Rao, how she missed Lena. She misses Lex too, but it’s different. Alex talks to Lex almost four times a week and sometimes he even comes to visit. The only updates she gets from Lena are those that Kara gives her.

So, yeah, she misses Lena.

And when she hears she’s staying in that mansion alone for the summer, Alex practically toss Kara into the car and make her way to the Luthors’.

They make a blanket fort just like that summer. She texts Vasquez during bathroom breaks.

“Why didn’t you invite them over?” Kara asks when she catches Alex smiling on her phone.

Alex is at first surprised at how Kara just _knows_ it’s Vasquez, but who’s she kidding? Kara is her sister, of course, she _knows_ it’s Vasquez – there are three people who can bring a smile like that to Alex’s face and two of them are already in the room.

“Well, as much as I like Vasquez there are some things that I want to do with my Lee and my sister without them. Like, watch a ton of horrible romantic comedies in a blanket fort.”

There is a choir of ‘aw’s from the younger girls before Alex is sandwiched by the two of them in a hug.

* * *

 

Vasquez surfing: hot. She can’t actually focus on it during the job, but on her break, nobody can blame her to push Vasquez under the pier to make out with them for a while.

Alex goes surfing with them on her free days. She’s better than them and she’s a bit proud of that. Vasquez could do everything: climb, hike, shoot, dance… It’s like they were trained by a super-secret spy agency or something. The least Alex could do was be better at surfing.

When Alex is drying up and pointing out how Vasquez could improve they hug her from behind laughing as they are making her wet all over again. They end up making out after and Alex is a completely another kind of wet.

* * *

 

She meets Vasquez friends.

They are nice and they are fun yet there’s something weird about them. Like they don’t quite fit together.

She pushes it down and tries to enjoy her time with them. Alex still prefers her time alone with Vasquez.

* * *

 

When Kara asks for her to go to the Luau as her ‘early Earth Birthday gift’ Alex resist to saying ‘no’ because: a)there is no good reason for Kara not to go if she’s there, and b) she had been looking for Kara’s gift for months and nothing felt quite right – and she was still hearing about how she forgot Kara’s gift on the previous year but she always had something for Lena.

_It’s different_ , Alex had told Kara back then.

_What? Do you like her more than me?_ Kara asks.

_No, just different. You are my sister. And Lee is Lee_. Alex would explain it if she could. But she can’t.

* * *

 

She catches Kara flirting with Olsen. Or Olsen flirting with Kara to be more accurate. Kara is just being her awkward alien-self. Alex is sitting around a bonfire with Vasquez hugging her from behind. She can see some of their friends around mixed up with other people. They are still weird. Thankfully nobody is that drunk yet that Alex has to interfere. She smiles at herself when she sees Kara and Lena turning down obviously spiked drinks. She makes a face when she sees Lucy Lance.

Yep, she was not ready yet to forgive her for the lamp incident.

She makes a worse face when she sees Clark. Yeah, of course, he’s here. Not because of his cousin whom he dropped out on the Danvers door years ago as some piece of trash he just wanted to get rid of. No, because of his buddy, his pal, his James.

Usually, that’s the time she texts Lex for motivation on reason to not kill someone – in this case Clark, not that it was possible given his Kryptonian DNA. Instead, something else distracts her. Lena.

Or more precisely, a very drunk boy tumbling into Lena.

“What is he doing?” Alex asks herself while watching the scene. Vasquez, behind her, smiles.

“It’s called flirting. Not sure you’d know because you are terrible at it,” Vasquez tries to tease their girlfriend, but Alex is too involved in the scene to pay attention to them. “You can’t really blame them. Lena is cute. If she was a few years older and I was single-” Alex doesn’t stay to hear the rest of it.

Also, she’s already halfway there. Rao, she can smell the alcohol on this boy. How old was he? Seventeen? Nineteen?

She scares out the boy and takes Lena back to her spot. Kara is safe with Olsen – who knows better than to try any funny business with Alex’s sister – and Lucy appeared to be in a heated discussion with Clark. Who knows? Alex just might like that girl a little bit.

Alex takes the seat next to Lena and puts her arm around the girl.

“You cold?” Alex asks Lena, but the girl shakes her head. Alex slips her hand on Lena’s and she winks at Lena as the younger girl blushes.

Yeah, Lee was cute. She was always cute. But now she was a different kind of cute. The kind of cute that catches the attention of boys and girls. Rao, did Lex know it? Had he any idea how stunning his sister was? What a woman she would become? And smart like she was… Well, the world was doomed.

* * *

 

She takes the girls home – not Lucy, Lucy catches a really awkward ride with James and Clark. The girls go to sleep. Kara is sleepy enough that she’s pretty much floating around the house. Lena starts to take off the Luau princess ornaments.

She can’t believe Lena won it – not that she wasn’t the most beautiful girl competing in the Luau because she was, but there was something about it that annoyed Alex.

“Someone might think you want to compete in it too,” Vasquez teases her and Alex makes a disgusted face. It was so not her scene.

Vasquez arrives after a while. The girls are already sleeping and Alex unlocks the front door. She asked Vasquez to come. Alex felt there was something off about them by the end of the Luau and she wanted to clear it up – also Eliza wasn’t home.

Alex pulls her partner inside and surrounds her with a hug taking a long sniff appreciating the familiarity. She’s quiet and Vasquez let her relax in their arms.

“What’s wrong?” Vasquez whispers to her.

“No here,” Alex says pointing to where the girls were sleeping. “Upstairs.”

And they make their way to Alex childhood bed and before Vasquez can get back to the subject, Alex is kissing them. They fall back into bed and Alex is pulling at her clothes. Vasquez stops them

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I mean, is there something wrong? You seemed kind of off on the beach.”

“I was, sorry. I’m not used to sharing with somebody else,” they confess.

“You didn’t have this problem with Kara and Kara is possessive.”

“Yeah, I know but she’s your sister.”

“And it was Lena today not some random girl or some old flame.”

“Yes, but that’s what I mean. It was Lena, but what she is to you? You say that Lex is practically your twin, Kara’s your sister but whenever I ask you about Lena you just say ‘ _it’s Lee_ ’.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything. I was just jealous because I’m dating this amazing and I’m afraid the rest of the world will eventually figure out what they are missing out. I’ll try to be better.”

And Alex kisses her because, yes, she understands what happened and, no, she doesn’t want to continue on this subject any longer.

Vasquez pulls away. “We are good?”

“Always,” Alex says pulling them back into a kiss.

 

* * *

 

“ _Hypothetically_ do you know any hackers?” Alex asks to the phone.

“Hello to you, too,” Lex’s voice answers. “Let’s say _hypothetically_ I do, why would you be interested?”

“Well if _hypothetically_ I was interested obviously we shouldn’t talk about it on the phone.”

“I’m not giving you anything until you tell me, Danvers.” Silence. “Are you really going to make me go all the way to National City?”

“I’ll pick you up. Send me the time!”

Alex hangs up.

* * *

 

“Aliens? Really?” Lex ran his hand through his bald head. “God, I can’t even imagine what kind of kinky things you are into.”

* * *

 

He gives her the contact anyway and Alex doesn’t like what they deliver. Dirt on a military agency. Experiments on aliens. Experiments on humans with aliens materials. Is like a bad Hollywood movies waiting to happen. What next? AI – didn’t anybody watch Terminator?

Alex can’t let it be and after a night pacing around her room she gathers the information on the boldest journalists she can think off and emails them all the information using a new email account she deletes right after.

* * *

 

She’s foolish enough to think that’s the end of it. Two days pass without she hearing anything from it and she’s jumpy and cranky and she asks Vasquez for a rain check on their date. There’s something wrong – is Alex can think of.

She doesn’t expect to be attacked as soon as she gets home after class. She just closed the door behind them and suddenly there’s a gloved hand covering her mouth. They show Alex their knife and it’s enough to make Alex go quietly. She was too young to die.

They throw her on the back of a car and close it. She’s trying to stay calm to figure a way out of it. When the car comes to a stop they open the back and drag her to the side of the road. There are no cars around. The signs look old and uncared for and there are several holes in the pavement. While none of it is a good sign it gets worse when the guy pulls out a gun.

They turn Alex so she has her back to them.

She hears shooting. A lot of it and it takes her a full minute to realize she’s still alive. She looks back and the guy that got her is dead. He’s bleeding barely a foot from where she’s kneeling.

Looking at the road Alex can see a black van approaching. The van stops behind the car she was brought in. The door is opened and half a dozen people dressed in black come out from there. One of them runs to Alex, there’s something familiar about them. They take off the clothing that is covering half of their face…

It’s Vasquez.

Alex’s mind goes wild as Vasquez is untying Alex’s hand and taking to tissue out of her mouth.

They go some explaining to do.

* * *

 

It takes two weeks until Alex feels ready to talk to them again.

Turns out that Vasquez works for a government agency called DEO that protects the nation again ‘extra-normal’ threats - whatever that means. The DEO has been watching Alex, of course, they have, because of Alex’s alien sister. The kept watching her for precaution given her interest in dangerous subjects – hence what happened to her.

“What now?” Alex had asked the man in changer – Director Henshaw. “You erase my mind or something.”

“We can’t erase your mind, but we have other ways to make you quiet.” He doesn’t mention it’s about 300 pages of legal documents included an NDA and other boring things. “Or,” he adds, “you could work for us.”

She takes the last option. One hour later she finds out that it means a new form of torture called ‘physical training’ and no social life. She doesn’t change her mind.

She lives more at the DEO than at her own apartment now. The director wanted her to take some time off given everything that happened but Alex wanted to start right away. She always wanted to help Kara, she had this idea of opening an alien clinic, but the idea of not only helping Kara but protecting her was better.

Alex sees Vasquez around. She sees their moping eyes. Director Henshaw tries to talk about it with her once or twice by she finds a way to divert the subject and he gives up. They send her messages. At first, it was every day, then every two days, and it appeared that they stopped completely.

Then finally Alex feels ready enough to see them.

They go to a neutral location. The park.

Vasquez is already waiting when she arrived. They don’t try to speak – they did that before and Alex just walked away. They wait. They wait until Alex is turning her back to leave and they can’t take it anymore.

“Alex. It’s not what it seems!” They try to say.

“Oh, it’s not?” Alex turns and Vasquez takes a step back. She’s mad. She’s been mad ever since then, so yeah, Vasquez is a bit scared because they know Alex learned how to flip someone just the day before. “The way we met, was it not planned? Didn't the DEO research about Cadmus so we would have some kind of ‘connection’ to keep an eye on me? Every time you asked me about what I was doing or asked me about my family you didn’t report everything to them?”

“That part is, but not-” They stop as if they can’t say whatever it is.

“Not what? You were my first real relationship and it was all just a lie.”

“It was not a lie! I liked you. I like you. I’m in-" Vasquez stops themselves. "That was not part of the plan. The plan was for me to befriend you, just that, see you once a week on social terms and that was it. But I started to like you and when you kissed me I blew that up. I’m sorry Alex, I really am, but everything else was not a lie. Not the way I kissed you, or the things I told you about my family… Or how I say that I want to be with you.”

Vasquez looks at Alex as if waiting for some miracle. But it’s not enough.

“I guess you blew that up too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank for all the kudos and comments (I love them) and to update you on the Unspoken (I know half of you want to kill me because of the cliffhanger)
> 
> I will update it as soon as I finish the next chapter of this fic that will contain Alex's POV through the masked party and the kiss. It will all make sense (I hope).
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Adventures of Lexie Ulther

Alex doesn’t date for a while. She doesn’t want or has the time. And that’s exactly what she tells Kara and her mother. That doesn’t stop the older Danvers woman of trying to set her up with ‘young Sapphic girls’ as she put it.

Kara moves to National City but it’s almost like she talks less with her sister. It’s so many cancelled coffees and late movie nights that Kara becomes less enthusiastic about being nearer her sister. Also, she hates Alex’s new job because of it – and Alex would hate it more since she only has four hours of sleep a night and too many hematomas but this is the best for Kara.

Surprisingly Kara runs into Winn although how big National City is. They reconnect and Kara thinks they might be in better terms than they were just a few month backs. Alex insists that he’s still in love with her. Kara groans at that.

“You know I get that some people want to be in a relationship, like when they are forty and are tired of being alone. But I’m not even twenty. And I’m single and I want to stay single. Look at us. Two happy single Danvers girls.”

Alex smiles at Kara. The younger girl had no idea how things had ended up with Vasquez. She had no idea of the kidnapping, the DEO, or how Vasquez fooled her for almost a year - and they still sent her puppy eyes during work. She couldn’t tell Kara about any of it. It would only make it worse. Which was also why they were no longer doing sleepovers – and it broke her heart to say ‘no’ every time Kara asked. She had been having this panic attacks during the night. She tries to calm herself like she used to calm Kara down. It works, most of the time. Somehow Henshaw knows and he’s making her see a therapist twice a week. She doesn’t like it.

She complains about it with Lex – he knows nothing too, but he doesn’t push for more after she says ‘it’s complicated’. Lex knows that Vasquez did break her heart, but he doesn’t know exactly how/why.

The two of them drink about it, though.

* * *

 

It’s training, training, and training and she drops out of several classes in college because she can’t keep up. She continues in those that will actually be useful for her.

* * *

 

Director Henshaw places Vasquez as her trainer. She’s sure is a punishment, for what she was no idea.

“There has to be somebody else,” Alex insists running after the director.

“It doesn’t matter. Don’t get confused Agent Danvers, I give the orders here, so if I tell you are training under Agent Vasquez’s command you don’t talk back to me. You say: yes sir, thank you,” he tells her in a harsh voice.

Alex struggles to keep her protest quiet. After long seconds she let’s out, “Yes sir, thank you.”

Alex treats Vasquez like a stranger and talks to them no more than necessary.

Alex’s a good agent. She trains harder than all of the newbies to a point she passes them in training in less than a month. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t feel her hand anymore or that there are permanent marks under her eyes from lack of sleep. She loses too much weight at first, unhealthily so. Vasquez notices it quickly and starts giving her hypercaloric protein bars.

In that moment Alex thinks that it’s almost like they care.

* * *

 

Eventually, Alex does forgive Vasquez.

They pull Alex into one of the sparring room at the DEO and tell Alex to sweat it off. It had been a particularly tiring day and Alex was accidentally taking it out on Vasquez. It was not the first time and as much as they reprehended Alex it didn’t last. The two of them had to settle it once and for all.

It works.

They sweat it off. And they talk it off. Vasquez had moved on – guiltily so. Alex had not. After that, she felt she could. _Closure_ , she never thought that actually worked.

They are not exactly instant friends but they are friendly with each other. It changes a few months later.

Vasquez is doing a field mission – they don’t do a lot of those, but they do some of them. She called her team and asked for the direction permission to take Alex with her. He hesitated for a minute before agreeing to it. It wasn’t Alex’s first field mission, but she had not been to many and that was definitely the biggest.

There are hostiles and at some point, Vasquez saves her from a guy Alex didn’t see approaching her from behind. There were no second thoughts on Vasquez posture. Alex could trust them. And that’s what she tells Vasquez a couple hours later after inviting them to her apartment.

“Friends?” Alex asks opening up a beer.

* * *

 

Lex is horrible at passing messages. It’s a universal truth.

Like when Alex broke her arm and he told Lena that Alex had been in a ‘car accident’ and nothing else. Or that time when Alex accidentally over-heated the pizza in the microwave and when Eliza asked about the smell Lex told her that Alex was ‘trying to poison their food with radiation’.

So when Lex calls her and tells Alex that Lena is in the ER she doesn’t freak out – Kara does, Alex has to hold her down from flying to the hospital. Instead, she asks him specifically why she was in the hospital _. One of her organs is failing_. And Alex massages her forehead because it’s almost like he does it on purpose. _What organ?_

It’s her appendix – not exactly an organ but she lets it slip.

Alex rolls her eyes. Yes, of course, she’s going but she’s definitely not taking the Kryptonian express.

She sends a text to Vasquez saying she had a family emergency. She might be gone for a couple of days.

Alex and Kara get there in the early hours of the morning and Lena had just arrived from surgery. It hurts Alex almost physically to see Lena like that. In a hospital bed. So small. So fragile. She just wants to roll Lena into several blankets and hide her away from the rest of the world so no one can hurt her.

Lena wakes up and Rao, had her smile always been this cute or was it the drugs?

They talk for hours and laugh until Lena’s belly hurts.

It had been a full year without seeing Lena. She kept minimal contact and it hurts Alex to know that it’s only partially the DEO’s fault. And it’s good to be back with her again.

And then Veronica Sinclair arrives.

* * *

 

“I’m Lena’s girlfriend,” the girl tells Lillian.

Alex’s stomach turns at that. _Girlfriend? That girl?_ Alex looks at Lena for confirmation. _She’s lying, right?_ And Lena’s silence is her answer. And Alex has a tendency of not liking people after a shorter time after knowing them. Veronica almost beats Lucy record (Lucy still had a two seconds advantage).

And suddenly Alex can’t bear to be in the room. _Girlfriend?_ Since when was Lena dating? It was _Lena_. That option never ran through Alex’s head. And Lena is looking at Veronica and she’s forgotten everyone else in the room. And it hurts. Alex is not sure why, but it hurts. She’s not good with the whole hurt thing so she just leaves the room.

She stays in the waiting room. Almost gets into a fight with the vending machine. She texts Vasquez to see how things are doing. Lex makes her company for a while. During those things, she goes by Lena’s room to see if Veronica is still there. She is, therefore Alex refuses to enter. And _Veronica_ is clinging to Lena. Holding her hand. Kissing her cheek.

_Doesn’t the girl know it’s Alex’s Lee?_

And then it hits her: Veronica doesn’t know. So it’s well past the time to make it clear.

She gets Veronica when the girl is leaving. Alex stands in Veronica’s way to block her passage. The other girl is unamused.

“You are less impressive than I thought you’d be,” Sinclair says and Alex straightens her shoulders. So she _heard_ of Alex.

“I don’t care what you thought or think of me. Just stay away from Lee.”

The nickname slips. Alex realizes it too late. Veronica catches it too and smiles at that. She hadn’t meant to give Veronica that.

“Oh, _Lee_ is just fine in my _hands_ ,” Veronica says.

There is poison in every one of her words. Alex takes a deep breath trying to control herself. Veronica smirks and she loses it pinning the girl against the wall. There are several eyes upon her but Alex doesn’t care. She has her fake FBI badge in her pocket in case she needs it.

“You don’t get to talk about her like that,” Alex tells her with a threatening smile. “You don’t get to come here and _pretend_ you care. I have no idea what she sees in you - if she sees anything in you. Honestly, I don’t care, what I do care is if you hurt her, in any way. You’ll wish you had never even looked at Lena. When I’m done with you, you’ll be hiding in an underground bunker for the rest of your life somewhere in the cold deserts of Russia hoping somebody else finds you before I do.”

“Do they know?” Veronica asks not quite a sassy as before. More cautious. “Do they know you’ve been having these thoughts about a girl that considers you her sister? Do they know how fucked up you are or are they just blind?”

And that’s when something snaps. But just before her fist can collide with Veronica’s sculpted bony structure somebody pulls her away. She’s fighting their hold when she realizes it’s Lex.

“You don’t want to that. It’s a thousand dollars suit that you don’t want to waste your time with,” Lex whispers roughly in her ear. Alex doesn’t exactly calm down in his arms – she’s still stiff and she still wants to punch Veronica’s lips out of her face but Lex’s offer her control over her instincts. “Get out of here,” he orders Veronica.

She does. Lex doesn’t let go of Alex until he’s sure Sinclair is far away from them. Alex was always a bit impulsive – she stole a damn dog for fuck’s sale! – but that was getting out of hand.

“She’s lying,” Alex starts with Veronica’s words still ringing in her head. She couldn’t let Lex think that was true. “I would never ever thin-”

“Let’s grab a bite,” Lex interrupts her in his boss tone.

Part of Alex wants to push him away but then again he’s her best friend. One of the people she trusts the most. So she complies. He gets them two sandwiches and just stares at Alex during her first two bites.

“What were you thinking? Threatening her in the middle of the hospital? Were you really going to hit her?” Lex says. “You know better than that.”

“She- She’s not good enough for Lena. She’s like an _ophidian_.” Lex raises his eyebrows. “A serpent,” Alex simplifies.

“I agree. But I made stupid teenager choices at Lena’s age. You did too. Too many, in your case. Kara didn’t, but Kara’s an angel. But Lena… Lena’s got her mistakes to make. Also, she’s smart. It won’t last. If it gets out of hand, I promise I’ll handle it myself.”

“I just- That girl doesn’t deserve Lena.” Alex can’t express it enough.

“And who does?”

Alex doesn’t answer. Lex got a name in mind, but he’s not giving it to her so easily.

“Now that- What was the word you used? Orchidian? Ophanian?”

“Ophidian,” Alex supplies.

“Yes,” Lex says. “Now that the ophidian is gone, instead of wasting your time things that don’t matter, why don’t you go spend some time with Lena? I’m sure she rather have you close to her then trying to murder her domestic snake.”

“Domestic my ass,” Alex snorts.

* * *

 

“You don’t have to stay, you know that,” Lena tells her at some point during the movie.

They are sharing Lena’s hospital bed. Kara had to go back to National City. The movie was playing but if Alex was being honest she wasn’t paying attention. Given Lena’s words, the younger girl probably picked up on that.

She was still thinking about Veronica. Veronica and Lena. There was nothing she could do. Well, there was. She could talk to Lena, probably convince her that Veronica wasn’t good for her. But then Alex remembered Lex’s words. To let Lena make her own mistakes. Alex didn’t like the idea. Mistakes sometimes meant getting hurt… How could Alex ever want Lena to get hurt?

And then in that moment, with those words, Alex was hurt.

“Why would I want to leave?” Alex asks. Maybe Lena wanted her to leave. Maybe she wanted Veronica bac-

“I don’t know,” Lena shrugs. “You’ve been distant these last years. It’s alright if you want to go.”

Alex did not see that coming.

Maybe she had been distant, principally since she joined the DEO. Kara had to remind her of Eliza’s birthday that year otherwise Alex would’ve completely forgotten. She wasn’t lying when she said that work kept her busy – busy enough that she doesn’t want to feel her bones when going to sleep – but she could’ve tried harder.

And maybe it wasn’t just the job that made her grow distant. Vasquez too. They had hurt Alex in a way that she had never been hurt before.

When she was young and she’d watch those romantic movies with her parents and when one of them was sad because of the other, Alex never quite understood all that sadness – then grumpiness, as she called back then. A more than a decade later Alex understood what those people in the movie were feeling. Heartbreak. And Alex didn’t know how to deal with it so she just might have pushed everyone away.

She hadn’t realized it.

“It’s true,” Alex tells Lena. “I’ve been distant. Since I started college a lot of things changed for me, but not this. You are part of my ohana, you call me and I come running. And I mean it. No matter what. If we fought, if I’m on the other end of the world, I’m here for you Lee. You are my favourite Luthor, how could it be any different?”

Lena’s eyes tell Alex she’s been heard. They tell her that Lena accepted her words. And that’s what she gets when Lena turns back to the movie resting fully against Alex. The older girl takes a deep breath lightly hugging Lena from behind. Rao, she felt like home.

* * *

 

Alex pulls an effort and she manages to attend to most of the sisters’ nights. She’s half-dead and aching for bed but half an hour later with her belly full and talking to Kara that’s completely forgotten. She goes out with Vasquez every once in a while, most of those times with Cadmus/Rex.

She sends Lena texts every now and then. She knows that Kara is constantly exchanging pictures of her routine with the younger Luthor and sometimes Alex appears in them.

Alex stops with the meaningless dates. Love shouldn’t be so hard. And if it was, maybe she didn’t need it after all. She had her family for that. Maybe a nice woman will appear when the time was right. Maybe not. Alex is just tired of wasting her time in a useless effort to like this or that girl.

 

She meets one or two interesting during that year. One unfortunately straight. The other, happily committed. She was still young. There was no use in rushing it.

* * *

 

Although Alex is not killing herself with work as she was before, she climbs up in the ranks quickly to a point she’s already leading team missions. Also, she’s got her own lab and she’s taking some extra classes on biochemistry that might help her at the DEO and with the other aliens.

And then she gets her first solo mission. And it’s out of the country.

Vasquez is going with her for moral support. They walk Alex through how the mission should go during their flight.

It’s a masked party, which makes their jobs much easier. She’s supposed to acquire the security badge from a private lab that they suspect to be holding innocent Aliens against their will. The DEO supplied the wardrobe and the mask. Vasquez sets up her comms. They wait until a reasonable hour to arrive: not too early and not too late. She only has to get the badge and go.

Vasquez suggested to do it during a dance and they spend the afternoon rehearsing until they are sure Alex can steal the badge from the man without he noticing. She has a fake one with her to put in its place so he won’t think it’s missing.

“So who am I playing?” Alex asks Vasquez on her way there. They laugh.

“Playing? A hot lady who will steal the guy’s badge? You’re wearing a mask Danvers, use it in your favour. You don’t need a fake character or something.”

Alex would feel better with a character, so she makes her own, even if she won’t use it.

Maybe the daughter of a businessman married to a big-ass lawyer. She’s out of the country on vacations. So not straight, but since she has to pretend to be interested in this guy she’d go with bi. Alex laughed at herself, _she’s basically playing Lex_ , the only thing that was lacking was some over-confidence and God-complex and she was sold. _I’m Lexie. Lexie Ulther_ \- she imagines herself saying.

“You ready?” Vasquez asks. Alex nods.

Alex enters the place and she’s not surprised. Sure, the decoration is wonderful and the dresses seem to be out of one of those magazines Kara reads but Alex already expected it. She scans the place with her and it doesn’t take her long to find her target.

“I got him in _sight_ ,” she whispers to Vasquez.

“Any idea on how to get his attention?”

“I thought the deep V-neck in this dress was for that,” Alex can hear their laugh. “He’s a man, I might be out of practice with his type, but I think I can manage.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She can hear Vasquez’s smile in their voices.

Alex hopes she doesn’t look too suspicious with her own smile. She makes her way through the crowd but doesn’t directly approach her target. No, first she has to get his attention. So she stays nearby. She starts to talk to one man who’s old enough to be her father always checking on her target every now and then. Eventually he sees her. And he catches her eyes. She holds his gaze and smiles while maintaining a conversation with the other man.

After a while when she’s tired of talking about the weather – _ugh_ – she makes her way to the bar. She orders two Scotches. Right after someone places themselves beside her. It’s him. She smiles at herself.

“Good, you are here. I was I afraid I was going to have to steal away from those archaic remains of men myself,” she tells him being just the right amount of dramatic and dropping her voice one tone lower.

“A girl with attitude. I like it. I’m almost tempted in going back there just to see if you would live up to your words.” The bartender places the drinks in front of them. “And she's got a good taste too. Maxwell Lord,” he stretches out his hand. “Founder of Lord Technologies. Multi-Billionaire.”

She’d find it cute if it wasn’t so ridiculous. Alex grew up with the Luthors, he would have to try harder to empress her than to use his money.

“As fun as it sounds, I’m not the one for playing games,” she tells him. “I’m sure you and I could find more… pleasurable ways to use our time.” _Rao_ , that's such a Lex line that Alex knows he would be proud. The target smile and – _fuck_ – Alex can’t believe that actually worked.

Alex finishes her scotch and she can see his eyes shining.

“Let’s _dance_ ,” and she pronounces _dance_ like someone would pronounce _sex_. Like it was something _dirty_ and he complies immediately.

* * *

 

It’s way too long staling with Lord. She gets hold of his security badge within half an hour. She spends another half an hour with him, though because suddenly he’s obsessed with her. It’s ridiculous.

Alex only manages to get away from him when one man comes to tell that someone seems to have hit his car. He lets out an ‘excuse me’ and he looks like a kid who just had his favourite toy broken.

“And you’re welcome,” Vasquez says into her coms.

Alex smiles taking one of the glasses of the Champagne from one of the servers. “What would I do without you, Vas?”

“I know I’m great.”

“You picking me up?”

“Picking you up? Nah, enjoy the rest of the party. Drink, dance. Consider this a present for your first successful solo mission. I’ll pick you up after Midnight.”

“What? Vas?” And they are gone.

She finishes her champagne and gets another one. Since she’s there she just might stay in character. It’s not like she’s going to run into any of those people ever again. Now time to play ‘ _how gay is she’_ with herself. And she’s looking at a tall woman with short her hair cut in a boyish style. She’s making her way to her when a taller raven headed girl approaches the redhead a puts her arm around her waist.

_That doesn’t exactly says ‘friends’. But maybe that says threesome- No!_

Alex shakes her head. Maybe she was impersonating Lex a bit too well. She needed some fresh air to get back to her own mind.

And it’s when she sees _her_.

* * *

 

Have you ever had the impression you know someone? That’s what Alex felt in that moment looking at the woman in the balcony. She can’t quite place it, but before she can think her Lex-persona already acted.

“Forty-two _.” Forty-two? What was the thinking? She was using a sci-fi reference in a party where everyone owns at least five cars._ Lex would be slapping her head in that moment.

“What?” The woman asks. Alex decides since she screwed it up she might just as well keep on with it.

“The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is 42. It’s a quote from a book.”

“I know.” The woman smiles. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I read it.” And, oh, Alex was a goner in that moment.

“You had this look in your eyes, like someone who is wondering the secret of the universe.” Alex takes a sip of her drink. There is something awfully familiar about that woman. “What’s your name?”

* * *

 

She doesn’t give her a name, but what are names for anyway? Alex pretty sure she’s forgotten her own given how wonderstruck she is by this woman.

They’ve been talking all night and it’s like Alex’s known her for her whole life. Part of her wants to sneak into the bathroom to call Kara and ask her if it’s too soon to ask a girl she just met to marry her. She’s not calling Lex otherwise he’ll be there in ten minutes with a priest before she can even ask the question.

Alex tells the woman things that she hardly ever told anyone. It took months for her to tell Vasquez those things. She had told all of this to this masked woman only knowing her for hours – but it felt like years, it felt like a lifetime. And yeah, she might have been kidding when she told Alex they’ve met in another life, but Alex doesn’t know how else to explain what she is feeling.

It’s like she was sent to Alex. It makes no sense for her to be there. She’s funny, carefree, not a snob, read books that are not Steve Job’s biography – she knows The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy… She doesn’t fit with those people.

But God, she _fits_ with Alex.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks.

“What?”

“You are different from the rest of these people. Not only you don’t fit among them, but you stand out.”

And the woman serious face forms a smile. A teasing one. One that she used so many times during that night that Alex just wanted to kiss it off her.

“What are you doing here?”

“You won’t give me anything, will you?” Alex smiles back at her. She doesn’t expect an answer, but it comes anyway.

“On the contrary, I would give you everything if you’d let me.”

The woman’s soft hand caresses her cheek and slowly traced Alex’s skin until reaching her lips. Her touch is so involving that Alex has no idea how she’s keeping up with their ‘dance’. Her lip trembles a little out of anticipation as she feels the girl’s fingertips.

Alex has a sudden urge to wet her lips. She has an urge to take the woman’s hand and kiss it. Kiss every one of her knuckles. And maybe she’ll let her lips continue kissing the woman’s arm reaching her shoulder and she’ll go for her neck. And she imagines the woman letting go of a whimper and as much as Alex wants to go for those lips, she wouldn’t. She would kiss the woman’s jaw, kiss her cheek and kiss the corner of her lips. Alex would stop just about to connect their lips. She would let her lips hover over the woman’s until the woman couldn’t take it anymore and pushes them together.

She does none of that, but her imagination gets her heart racing.

“But you won’t let me,” the woman finishes saying.

Alex doesn’t quite get it. Sometimes the woman did that, she said one or two things that seemed out of context, or out of a context that Alex was aware of. She doesn’t pay much attention to it.

It’s ten minutes to midnight and the lights are dimed.

Every minute she spends with this woman, Alex is surer: she can’t let her go.

“Is it too much to ask for a name?”

“Kiss me and I’ll give it to you.”

Alex doesn’t respond. She doesn’t respond because her systems are totally fried. If she was afraid that it was a one-sided connection, the thought was swept away from her mind. And it had been especially hard to keep the _Lexie Ulther_ façade around this woman in that instant. It was Alex there. One Hundred percent Alex.

She takes a while to get back to functioning and the woman is slipping away.

Alex holds her hand and she puts her other on the woman’s neck. And she stops when their lips have yet to touch… She stops to make sure that she didn’t change her mind. The woman gives Alex a nod. Alex barely registers it and she’s kissing her.

Their kiss in noting like _Lexie Ulther_ imagined – that _NSFW_ version that left Alex salivating until that moment. No. Their kiss is slow. Slow as it should be as strangers that are getting to know each other. Strangers who want to know each other. And yet it feels like a kiss of two people who have knows each other for too long and that is entering a territory never walked before because they know how to hold each other. Alex’s hands fall to the woman’s waist while she grips Alex’s neck.

That can’t be a one time kiss.

Alex doesn’t want it to be a one-time kiss. So she pulls away. She pulls away because she remembered why they were kissing.

She smiles softly. _What a kiss_. And she takes off her mask – not that it covered much.

“Hey, “ she tells the woman. “A deal is a deal.”

“Promise not to hate me?” the woman asks stepping closer.

And she takes off her mask and _fuck_.

_It’s Lena._

_It’s Lee._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! Fresh out of the oven! 
> 
> I needed to get this out because I've been promising to post the Unspoken but I needed to finish this one first. Why? Because from next chapter on Alex's POV will also appear in the Unspoken. Why? So it's doesn't get too tiring, repeating the same scenes as I did with some in this chapter. Also Lena and Alex are in a 'similar' place now.
> 
> So the big question WHEN WILL I POST THE UNSPOKEN?!  
> A: Tomorrow - if I finish editing and/or life doesn't get in the way. (Alex's reaction to _it_ will be there too.) 
> 
>  
> 
> PS: A big thanks @anastasia-goddess-of-drama on tumblr who helps me out with my daily freak outs and fangirling.


End file.
